Traditional Hindu
weddingceremonies can last for days and involve much ritual in
Sanskrit which may be understood only by the priest conducting the
service. This ceremony is considerably shorter and is intended to be
understandable even to a non-Indian audience, making it suitable for
intercultural or mixed Hindu/non-Hindu marriages. The couple for whom it
was originally written based it on the Gujarati Brahmin traditions of the
bride’s family with a few touches from Unitarian and secular wedding services familiar to the groom’s
family. It includes three spots to insert optional readings and musical
performances of your choosing.
The priest in this ceremony need not be formally trained as a Hindu
priest. He or she should be familiar with Hindu weddings and
comfortable acting as a master of ceremonies, guiding the participants
through their parts and explaining the meaning of the service to the
audience. It’s okay if the priest keeps the script in hand during the
ceremony.
Roles
- Bride
- Groom
- Priest (who in this ceremony also serves as the MC)
- Bride’s parents
- Groom’s parents
- Bride’s maternal uncle (maamaa)
- Bride’s brother (or cousin or male friend)
- Best man
- Chorus: a few women who know how to sing traditional Indianslokas
- Flower girls (optional)
Set
Hindu weddings are supposed to take place outside, on the earth, under a
canopy known as a mandap. If that’s not possible, you can
build a mandap inside and pretend you’re outdoors. Seating under the
mandap can be on the ground (carpets or mats would be a good idea) or on
chairs.
Front and center under the mandap is the sacred fire. The fire can be small
and confined to a brazier or dish for safety.
The groom’s party is supposed to arrive at the wedding spot in a
procession, so it’s good to have a convenient assembly location nearby.
Props
- Coconut
- Garlands to be exchanged by bride and groom
- Rings to be exchanged by bride and groom
- Weddingnecklace (mangalsutra)
- Gift from groom to bride’s brother
- Gift from bride’s mother to groom
- Sacredfire
- Sacred rope (varamala), tied in a loop largeenough to go easily around bride and groom
- Pots of water for washing hands and feet
- Kumkum or red paste applied to forehead
- Rice
- Flowers
Wardrobe
Traditionally, the bride wears a red or red and white sari. The sari should be
draped modestly over her hair. The groom wears a kafni (long shirt
extending to the knees) with pijamo (leggings) or dhoti (sort of an overgrown
loincloth). The groom might also wear a turban.
Of course, in an adapted ceremony like this one great liberties can be
taken with wardrobe. One rule which shouldn’t be broken is that anyone
who enters the mandap or wedding canopy must have on sandals or slip-on
shoes which can be easily removed (no shoes in the mandap!). In addition,
it’s a good idea to avoid much black.
One feature of the bride’s wardrobe which has become popular abroad is
the use of henna or mehndi to decorate her hands and feet. It’s
said that you can tell how well a new bride is being treated by her in-laws
from how long it takes for the mehndi to wear off. Mehndi treatments are
increasingly available in salons or you can get mehndi mix at any Indian
grocery store for a do-it-yourself job. (But be sure to practice on paper first!
Mehndi doesn’t wash off.)
Script
- Groom’s party assembles a few minutes before scheduledceremony time at a convenient spot near ceremony location. (E.g., aneighbor’s house or a parking lot around the corner.) Older members of the
party may go on to the ceremony location to be seated. Groom is holding a
coconut and bride’s garland.
- Groom’s party walks in a procession to ceremony location.(For extra credit, groom rides on a horse or better yet an elephant!) Groomis received by bride’s mother who applies kumkum to his forehead. Groom
bows to bride’s mother and gives her coconut.
- Bride’s parents escort groom and best man to the mandap.Groom’s party is seated nearby.
- After groom is in position in the mandap, bride comes outcarrying groom’s garland, escorted by maternal uncle, optionally precededby flower girls.
- Priest says:
We have come together to wed (bride), daughter of (bride’s
parents), to (groom), son of (groom’s parents). Today they build together
the foundation of their marriage upon the earth, in the presence of the
sacred fire and the radiant sun, among their family and
friends.
- Bride and groom are seated facing one another under themandap. Chorus sings the slokas:
- Invocation to LordGanesha: Vignesh varaia varadaia sukhapriyaya…
- Invocation to Saraswati: Yakundendutusharaharadhawala…
- Prayer for harmony: Om sahana vavatu…
- Bride garlands groom. Groom garlands bride.
- Reading #1.
- Bride’s parents wash bride’s and groom’s hands and feet,apply kumkum and give flowers. (Bride’s mother does this to bride, bride’sfather to groom.)
- Bride’s parents address audience:
I, (name), son/daughter of (grandparents’ names), approve the
wedding of my daughter, (bride’s name), to (groom’s name).
- Groom says:
I, (groom’s name), take you, (bride’s name), into my heart as
my wife.
Bride says:
I, (bride’s name), take you, (groom’s name), into my heart as
my husband.
- Priest says:
A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the
universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In these
rings it is the symbol of unity, in which your lives are now joined in one
unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will always return to one
another and to your togetherness.
Bride and groom exchange rings.
- Priest puts varamala (sacred rope) around bride’s and groom’snecks. They’re now married!
- The couple, who had been sitting facing one another, now sitdown side by side. Bride’s father puts bride’s hand in groom’s.
- Song or musical performance. (Traditionally this is the time tosing a mangalashtak, a poem composed specially for theoccasion.)
- Bride cups her hands and places them in groom’s cuppedhands. Bride’s brother puts rice in bride’s hands. Together bride and groompour the mixture into the fire.
- Bride and groom walk around the fire four times, alternating inwho leads. Priest says:
Om Svaha! With
the first turn, we pray for happiness in the union of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the second turn, we pray for the long life of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the third turn, we pray for the healthy life of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the fourth turn, we pray for the happiness and health of the
couple.
- The bride and groom sit down. (Here’s a fun part: whoever sitsdown first will be the boss in the marriage!) Groom presents a gift to thebride’s brother.
- Priest says:
Now is the time to confirm the marriage with the seven final
steps.
Bride and groom rise and prepare to take seven steps. Priest continues:
I ask you, (bride) and (groom), to concentrate upon these
seven vows as you take the seven steps:
- May the couple be blessed with an abundance of food.
- May the couple be strong and complement one another.
- May the couple be blessed with prosperity.
- May the couple be eternally happy.
- May the couple be blessed with children.
Idea: one “blended family” we know of changed this to “May the couple beblessed with obedient children.”
- May the couple live in perfect harmony.
- May (bride) and (groom) always be the best of friends.
- Optional step to shock the traditional Hindus: bride and groomsteal a kiss!
- Bride and groom feed each other sweets four times. Bride’smother gives groom a gift. Groom’s mother comes to the mandap and putsthe mangalsutra necklace around the bride’s neck.
- Reading #2.
- Chorus sings the sloka:
- Blessing for Everlasting Love: Advaitam…
…as bride and groom bow to all their seniors in both parties in rough order
according to age (eldest first).
- Adjourn to refreshments and photo ops. Mob sceneensues!
article from:-
http://aprendizdetodo.com/wedding/
articles
- The Bride’s Doli by NadiaMasood(myweddingentrance.wordpress.com)
- Hindu Weddings Solemnize SevenVows of Marriage(myweddingentrance.wordpress.com)
- Shall I Hire a Doli / Hire a Palki for myWedding?(myweddingentrance.wordpress.com)
- HinduWeddings(socyberty.com)
- Bride,groom, spouse: New gender-neutral forms for NYC marriage licenses(miamiherald.typepad.com)